Twisted: The prestory of the False Messiah
by Watt Hikari
Summary: Main is a simple boy with a simple dream; the end of the world...or a date with a cute girl. Now bound within a prinny suit, he travels with Pleinair and others across the dimensions looking for something.  No relations since I'm not a bastard like that.


Nothing but a little thing I wrote a while ago. Hope you enjoy and all that~

Also yes...His full name is Main F. Character (The F stands for Fucking so it's Main Fucking Character)

So yes, here begins the saga of friendship, love, war, and bitches~

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**Chapter 1:**_Hey look…um…Fuck..._*Introduction…so yeah*

"_The sunset is beautiful, shame it's a fucking cliché." _A slight sigh left his lips as he looked on from his balcony. _"All good things come to an end." _ He though _"Better get this shit over with." _ He walked towards the railing, pressing his hands against the cold metal. _"Life sucks, boohoo for me, not like anyone would care that I'm dead." _He smiled as he lifted himself upon the rail. _"Meh, I had better days." _He stepped off, falling down, feeling the rush of air as he plummeted to his death. "**HAHAHA, FUCK YOU WORLD, EVERYONE COULD EAT A DI**-"He felt the impact of the sidewalk, then nothing.

Slow fuzzed vision returned to him, stone blue walls surrounded him, and against one side is something that looked like… a couch? "Wait, what the fuck, I thought I died." He looked around in surprise as he noticed he was what looked like a mix between a waiting room, and a medieval dungeon. "Holy shit…I think I'm In Saw…Goddammit!" He stood there terrified…until he started to hear what sounded like paper work and the slamming of gavels. "Well then…I'm in a fucking court, but what the fuck?" Looking around the room had revealed two gigantic steel doors _"Is this a sex court?" _The doors opened as a delicate figure proceeded out of them.

The figured approached him at a calm pace, never showing a sign of inelegance. _"Oh dear sweet God Almighty, please let it be a woman, and not a transsexual clown…" _He felt a calm breeze as the figure stood merely a foot away. _"….Fuck win" _Her hair was short, a lovely azure which emphasized her deep red eyes. Her white dressed swayed in an ever present breeze, which could calm even the fieriest tempers. Her face showed little expression, but gave off a sign off deep wisdom for someone who looked so young.

He looked at her…well…more like locked his eyes in like a lock of a bank vault, with such unknown interest. "Hello…" She spoke, with a gentle voice "Welcome to the Netherworld's Dark Assembly, I believe you are Sir. Main Character?" Words could not escape his mouth…except odd babbles and what looked like glowing drool…no wait…wut? "**HOLY FUCK NUGGET** WHAT, WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY LEGS!" The dumbass finally realized that he was floating in place…as a spirit…so yeah. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME YOU AWESOME BITCH!" He screamed out to the azure haired girl.

"I SWEAR TO **JUBELEAUS** I WILL BUY YOU SOME DINNER AND TAKE YOU OUT TO A MOVIE IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!" She stood there, with her air of professionalism "Are you quite done Sir, if so may we continue?" well yelling would get him nowhere he thought "Fine…so what the hell do you want?" finally gaining some much lost composure "Your are Main Character correct, the human charged with the sin of **Taking your own life**." _"Well fuck…" _He thought "Um, yeah. I did that… I think." She flipped through the small book she was holding "You were also charged with **Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking**." "HOW THE FUCK IS **JAYWALKING** A SIN, AND WHEN DID I **KILL** ANYONE!" She blinked "Do you remember **Arson**?" … Well fuck.

"My name is **Pleinair**, and I was assigned to help you through your entrance into the Netherworld. My job is to make sure you're smoothly simulated into the lifestyles and customs of our Dark World." O.k. far he killed himself was turned into a floating spirit, seen one of the hottest things since that Curtis guy lit a Gas Station on fire, and is being stimulated into the Netherworld. "You mean Simulated?" No fuck you. "First." She started "We must choose your new body. This is essential for your new role into our World."

She grabbed his soul and walked through the double doors, a room with a myriad of host bodies were on display. "Ninjas, Swordsmen, Dragons, Gunmen, and even Female Archers if you're that kind of person, The Dark Assembly has a multitude of host to choose from." She walked him down the assorted aisles, showing him the prices that were charged with an essence called mana. "Let's see, what type of body you would be interested in Sir. Main?" He though to himself for a moment, his body was reliable, steady, and muscular…for a chubby person. "Give me the person with the most menacing hair." A short stop, he wondered what happened. "You're interested in…hair?" He smiled…if you can call it that "I mean…ahem…Divine Majins would have the most um…menacing hair."

She walked into the more condensed areas of the room stopping in front of what looked more like an experimental tube than a glass display. "A Divine Majin, a most powerful resource. And at 9,000,000,000 of your….Um…10 mana…" She stopped and sighed; he looked at her and saw a slight sign of annoyance "Why would I be over here if you only killed one person?" "Goddammit, I told you; I didn't mean to kill anyone." She stepped away from the Dragonball Z rip-off and walked down a path that seemed traversed many times. "Here we are; A Prinny Skin for 10 mana, you should be happy."

His…um…jaw fell when he saw it. A light blue penguin looking suit stood there. What? If you're reading this, you should know what the fuck a Prinny looks like. "It's…" He muttered "Yes, I'm sorry but nothing else is available for some-""**IT'S** **FUCKING GLORIOUS**!" He screamed out, shattering the glass surrounding it "NOW PLEINAIR, THROW ME INTO IT!" A moment of silence, a short sigh "It's gonna hurt like fuck isn't it." He asked "Yes, very." She agreed "All part of the punishment."

A glorious day and a fuck load of hot glue and wire later, Main's soul was finally bound into the Prinny Skin. Slight hops off the operation table and he was already face first into the damn floor "SUNMABSH!" He yelped out as he was still kissing more floor than a fat old man who sat forward too fast. Two soft hands grabbed his sides and lifted him up "You should be more careful, you are the** last Prinny in this world**." Yet again more uncomfortable silence "Well fuck."

Chapter 1 - **Fucking End!**


End file.
